|Posted by Ally Palmer under Uncategorized|
In an age where social media seems to have taken over much of our lives, bullying has become much more than having your lunch money taken from you. Stories of cyberbullying where teens or pre-teens are made the target of ruthless criticism and vicious rumors on social media have become all too common.
Cyberspace has opened up another venue through which bullies can torment their victims. They’ve become even bolder because they can hide behind their computer screens.
But what happens when a supposed “friend” is the one who starts to push their weight around. They’re just “nice” enough to keep you around, but for every nicety comes two or three put downs. The line between friend and enemy become blurred and if we’re not careful, it’s easy to fall prey to their manipulations.
As a mother to an 8 year old girl, I’ve already seen it happen. Yes, it starts this young and sometimes even younger. It’s been said that children are like sponges and unfortunately, it’s not always good stuff that they absorb.
Bullying can happen at any age, people just get better at hiding it as they grow older. We can even bully ourselves. You know that little voice in your head, the one that says you’re not good enough, don’t even try, you’ll make a fool out of yourself – that’s the bully within. It’s worse than any other bully because it’s always there, 24/7. You can’t just walk away and try as you may, ignoring it is almost impossible.
The bully within, just like other bullies wants to make us feel inferior and powerless.
5 Ways to Deal with the Bully Within
1. Positive Self-Talk: You may want to start with simply taking notice to every negative thought you have about yourself. When you get dressed, are you thinking thoughts of how you’re too fat, too skinny, etc.? Turn those thoughts around, use positive affirmations, smile at yourself in the mirror. Sound cheesy? Well, wouldn’t you rather be cheesy and happy than a Debbie-Downer?
2. Think- “Why not?”: Every time you think you can’t do something, say to yourself, “Why not?” and then do it anyway.
3. Stand Up to Yourself: Treat the bully within just like an outside bully. Confront it, yell at it, beat it up-verbally that is. Tell that voice in your head you’re no longer going to listen to what it has to say and to get out.
4. Get Movin’: Go for a run, walk the dog, get outside and move.
5. Challenge yourself: Do something out of the ordinary, learn something new, something that challenges and engages your brain.
The bully within can be the most insidious of all bullies. Getting a hold of it will take vigilance, persistence and patience. Consider simply being aware of the inner negative voice a victory in and of itself. Soon you’ll be able to deliver the final knock out punch which will render it helpless and have it scurrying away like the coward it really is.
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